This year, we tried something new for Summer Camp to help aid parents and begin the conversation for students about what took place at camp. I thought that it was so good that I decided to share it with you!
After we arrived back at the church at 6:15pm (we timed our trip to camp so that we could make sure we were back in time), we gathered all of our parents and students together for one final session/commissioning. We had a number of students share, with parents present, some of the things that they thought were totally awesome, fun, the things they learned and some of their more impacting experiences. It was cool to hear the Junior High students put into words the things that they had experienced and be able to do so in front of their parents.
I was so pumped to see so many parents present to hear from their students on the things that took place at camp. I can't wait to see how this helps parents in the long run and how it changes the way that we do camp. One of the biggest obstacles of camps, retreats and other trips is the follow-up and accountability. We live in a day and age that suggests that parents are exempt from offering those two aspects of students' experiences. And at some levels, we can do our best to eliminate parents from that equation. But the reality is, if we are going to be a ministry that seeks to partner, aid and come alongside parents in their relationships with their students, this just makes sense.
I think that this element will change the impact of our camps and I can't wait to begin to make it even more effective.
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
July 12, 2011
October 27, 2010
Acrobatics, Parenting and Critical Thinking
I don't think that I have ever said anything about parenting. Mainly because I don't have much to say about it that would mean anything. Frankly, I'm still only 24, single, and very much not looking at the possibility of children at anytime soon. (insert sarcastic "single" remark from the crowd) [insert my "I'm ok being like Paul!" counter-remark here] Not to mention, I am very much still influenced by my parents leading at many levels. So, generally, my initial reaction to some of the things that parents do is usually frustration. That's the brutal honesty.
However, lately, I've been in a number of conversations that have allowed me to see into part of the world that is parenting and the things that they are required to wrestle with on a daily basis. Because, what I didn't know about parents is that they are actually world-class acrobats and world-champion wrestlers. And in most cases, we, kids, never make the job any easier. Often, we can make it even more difficult.
See, you know those times that you are frustrated with your parents because they wouldn't let you go to that party, it wasn't because they wanted to ruin your life, not allow you to do anything, EVER, or make sure that you remembered who's house it is. The fact is, they wanted to make sure that you had a solid excuse as to why you couldn't go near that alcohol.
And that time that they told you to get off the phone and be "here," it wasn't because they were sick of you texting across the room to your girlfriend/boyfriend (although, from a big brother, that is absolutely, ridiculously, annoying), it's not that they wanted you to be cut off from the rest of the world, or that they wanted to make sure that you had to be "that kid" that has the terrible "Nazi" parents. Maybe they actually wanted to know what was going on in your life and just wanted to say that they loved you.
The crazy thing to me is that it has been so easy for me to just identify with the students in these situations. It has been easy because I was that student. I was the one who put up the fight, exploded when I couldn't do what I wanted and made sure the my point got across no matter what it took to get it across. Recently, I have been able to see a whole new perspective as I work with parents to begin to discover how to reach their students.
Hey Students, your parents really do care about you.
Hey Parents, your students really don't understand that you care.
It's time we begin to think critically on either side of this equation.
GC
However, lately, I've been in a number of conversations that have allowed me to see into part of the world that is parenting and the things that they are required to wrestle with on a daily basis. Because, what I didn't know about parents is that they are actually world-class acrobats and world-champion wrestlers. And in most cases, we, kids, never make the job any easier. Often, we can make it even more difficult.
See, you know those times that you are frustrated with your parents because they wouldn't let you go to that party, it wasn't because they wanted to ruin your life, not allow you to do anything, EVER, or make sure that you remembered who's house it is. The fact is, they wanted to make sure that you had a solid excuse as to why you couldn't go near that alcohol.
And that time that they told you to get off the phone and be "here," it wasn't because they were sick of you texting across the room to your girlfriend/boyfriend (although, from a big brother, that is absolutely, ridiculously, annoying), it's not that they wanted you to be cut off from the rest of the world, or that they wanted to make sure that you had to be "that kid" that has the terrible "Nazi" parents. Maybe they actually wanted to know what was going on in your life and just wanted to say that they loved you.
The crazy thing to me is that it has been so easy for me to just identify with the students in these situations. It has been easy because I was that student. I was the one who put up the fight, exploded when I couldn't do what I wanted and made sure the my point got across no matter what it took to get it across. Recently, I have been able to see a whole new perspective as I work with parents to begin to discover how to reach their students.
Hey Students, your parents really do care about you.
Hey Parents, your students really don't understand that you care.
It's time we begin to think critically on either side of this equation.
GC
September 30, 2010
Parents Scare Me to Death
Ok, so not my parents. But I guess that really depends on the day... And the time of the month (That could sound very biased toward my mom, but my dad's an accountant so the end of the month is just about as bad as "that time of the month" sometimes). But seriously, parents can scare the crap out of me.
What's the worst, is getting a phone call from a parent who is having issues with their student/kid. Especially when that kid is doing some numbskull activity or trying to ruin their life. It gets doubly difficult to manage because you want to affirm parents and help them through this situation. Needless to say, I'm a 24 year-old punk with no kids (not even a dog) and no experience of parenting (unless you count the one time I ran down that infant in Haiti).
Take a phone call I took recently. I pick up the phone and have the parent explain to me what is going on. All the while, I'm looking for times to affirm them in what they are doing. Of course, in the back of my mind all I can think about is that this person is my mom's contemporary and anything I say will be coming from a desperate attempt to gain their trust and hope that I can be taken seriously.
Then, because I'm either a zealous youth pastor or a foolish youth intern (depends on how it goes over), I offer some tips out of my own experience to help with the situation. That in itself is a pretty good joke, but we roll with it and finish the call with me telling said parent that they are doing ok and that this is just a "stage."
The reality is, Satan still holds a pretty big stronghold in this area of my life. I'm working to claim it and recognize God's victory and providence in that area of my life. But, there is still a level to which I am freaked out every time I pick up a phone call from you parents. Why? Because you have the potential to be that kid's biggest influence and God has put you in position to help keep your kids on God's path and the last thing I want to do is commandeer that portion of your kids' life.
The fact is, God has equipped you with everything to guide your kids' lives. I believe that I'm here as a tool for you in those times of uncertainty and a need for a different voice. It is my prayer that you will continue to step up and be a force for good in your kids' lives. So, stop calling me and believe in yourself.
Just kidding.
But seriously.
GC
What's the worst, is getting a phone call from a parent who is having issues with their student/kid. Especially when that kid is doing some numbskull activity or trying to ruin their life. It gets doubly difficult to manage because you want to affirm parents and help them through this situation. Needless to say, I'm a 24 year-old punk with no kids (not even a dog) and no experience of parenting (unless you count the one time I ran down that infant in Haiti).
Take a phone call I took recently. I pick up the phone and have the parent explain to me what is going on. All the while, I'm looking for times to affirm them in what they are doing. Of course, in the back of my mind all I can think about is that this person is my mom's contemporary and anything I say will be coming from a desperate attempt to gain their trust and hope that I can be taken seriously.
Then, because I'm either a zealous youth pastor or a foolish youth intern (depends on how it goes over), I offer some tips out of my own experience to help with the situation. That in itself is a pretty good joke, but we roll with it and finish the call with me telling said parent that they are doing ok and that this is just a "stage."
The reality is, Satan still holds a pretty big stronghold in this area of my life. I'm working to claim it and recognize God's victory and providence in that area of my life. But, there is still a level to which I am freaked out every time I pick up a phone call from you parents. Why? Because you have the potential to be that kid's biggest influence and God has put you in position to help keep your kids on God's path and the last thing I want to do is commandeer that portion of your kids' life.
The fact is, God has equipped you with everything to guide your kids' lives. I believe that I'm here as a tool for you in those times of uncertainty and a need for a different voice. It is my prayer that you will continue to step up and be a force for good in your kids' lives. So, stop calling me and believe in yourself.
Just kidding.
But seriously.
GC
July 19, 2009
Parents, Camp, and Perspective
I stole this post from Derry. But it's only because I think that every parent should see it...
Just listened to a voice mail of a dad who gets it. It was a thanks to all those leaders involved at Summer Camp who pushed his daughter to go all out for Christ. He was overjoyed with the zeal and passion he saw in his daughter. The thank you meant a lot, but what really got me excited hearing from a dad had just thrown gasoline on the fire that was started in his daughter.
Many times (more than I want to count) a student will come home to share with a parent what has happened, and immediately be met by "the voice of reason." Although I believe there are good intentions in this, I cringe when I hear students are initially met with statements like,
"You're on a spiritual high."
"Let's not get too carried away."
"I better see some changes in you at home."
"Let's take it slow and see what happens."
These statements an be potentially dangerous... especially when they are the first words out. Those can all be correct and valuable phrases to be shared. A parent will have to play the voice of reason in his/her kids' lives, but they also have the opportunity to fuel a faith in children that can produce a ridiculous dreamer and radical follower of Jesus Christ.
I would hope the first phrases from parents who see kids return from camp with a fire in them be,
"Awesome."
"Go for it!"
"I love what I'm hearing."
"How can we best help and encourage you as you put this into action?"
"I/We believe in you and your potential."
"Anything I can do to see you grasp all God has for you, I'm in!"
Or maybe it's no words, just a huge smile, a laugh, and a gigantic hug!
Parents, there are far too many fires that have to be put out when raising teens. Don't let the fire of God that get's built up from a perspective gaining experience like camp be one of them. Fan that fire into a flame that will equal out to spiritual growth at home!
So what does this mean for students? It means that this is one of those battles that you may have to face and as much as this sounds negative, your parents can unknowingly can act as agents of Satan. That's right, you can do it to other people too unknowingly. If you want it, and God wants you to do it, then you have no choice as a Christ-follower but to do whatever IT is.
Just listened to a voice mail of a dad who gets it. It was a thanks to all those leaders involved at Summer Camp who pushed his daughter to go all out for Christ. He was overjoyed with the zeal and passion he saw in his daughter. The thank you meant a lot, but what really got me excited hearing from a dad had just thrown gasoline on the fire that was started in his daughter.
Many times (more than I want to count) a student will come home to share with a parent what has happened, and immediately be met by "the voice of reason." Although I believe there are good intentions in this, I cringe when I hear students are initially met with statements like,
"You're on a spiritual high."
"Let's not get too carried away."
"I better see some changes in you at home."
"Let's take it slow and see what happens."
These statements an be potentially dangerous... especially when they are the first words out. Those can all be correct and valuable phrases to be shared. A parent will have to play the voice of reason in his/her kids' lives, but they also have the opportunity to fuel a faith in children that can produce a ridiculous dreamer and radical follower of Jesus Christ.
I would hope the first phrases from parents who see kids return from camp with a fire in them be,
"Awesome."
"Go for it!"
"I love what I'm hearing."
"How can we best help and encourage you as you put this into action?"
"I/We believe in you and your potential."
"Anything I can do to see you grasp all God has for you, I'm in!"
Or maybe it's no words, just a huge smile, a laugh, and a gigantic hug!
Parents, there are far too many fires that have to be put out when raising teens. Don't let the fire of God that get's built up from a perspective gaining experience like camp be one of them. Fan that fire into a flame that will equal out to spiritual growth at home!
So what does this mean for students? It means that this is one of those battles that you may have to face and as much as this sounds negative, your parents can unknowingly can act as agents of Satan. That's right, you can do it to other people too unknowingly. If you want it, and God wants you to do it, then you have no choice as a Christ-follower but to do whatever IT is.
Lord, may parents that give this guidance not be able to sleep well or rest until they realize the need to support their students. And God, don't allow students who need to be resolved to accomplish certain acts commissioned by you, to rest either. Make their nights a time of tossing and turning and moments of frustration because you have spoken and we have heard; you have shown us your glory and your vision for our group and we have seen you and we are changed. May you use us even when the odds and troubles that face us are our parents. May we know what it means to honor them while we follow our God who loves us!
Amen.
July 2, 2009
Life Decisions and Parents
Ok, so this is not a judgment on the parenting abilities of any of the parents that have students in our ministry. Nor is it a rip on the way that parents across the U.S. do it. However, this is a post to offer some perspective from a person that is concerned with our students' lives. Not just their spiritual lives, but their lives in general. Also, at 23, I am in no way trying to tell parents how to parent their child or tell anyone that they are parenting wrong.
With that said, I continue.
For the longest time, I have seen sports as a one of the best tools to bring a student to a place where they have strong bonds with the people around them and give them a support group, but also something to work toward; like a thing of encouragement. And for many years that I was growing up, I think that this was accomplished through most sports. But something has changed since then that has gotten parents into a tizzy about providing their kids with the best opportunity or the best chance to start on the varsity team, or whatever vicarious living aspect they are trying to attain.
Maybe this is a new advent in our area in the conservative parts of the Midwest region of the U.S. however, it is something that has started to bother me. Maybe this is because for the first time in my life, I am working with students that desire to start on the Varsity, but still want to grow in their spiritual walk. I'm not sure, but I'm confident that I am frustrated by the current state of athletics in students' lives.
In today's world, if you don't go to all the camps during the summer, make all the workouts for each sport, and are at every day of the summer two-a-day camps, students, and their parents seem to think that it becomes impossible to even see a down. Obviously, this is a little extreme, however, it may not be too far off from the truth for some parents (though, many in this spot will never admit to this being true).
So, here is my plea: Parents, PLEASE, help your students understand the priorities that they need to have IN LIFE, not just High School. Unfortunately, I've seen more great parents, assist the world in molding their son, or daughter, into what the world needs less of and have basically, restricted their students from experiencing life as a kid. You see, my plea is less about summer camp and more about their overall lives. Sure, I want each student that goes to summer camp to be there 100% of the time; I want to see make a commitment to attend Wednesday Night Youth Group and not sluff off in late April and May due to baseball. Sure, but my desire comes out of a desire to see these students grow and make life choices.
Do I understand that sometimes parents can't control schedules. Absolutely! I'm a baseball umpire, I know, first hand, that these schedules change all of the time. However, I knew a certain All-State quarterback from Wawasee that made it a point to prioritize his spiritual life. Did his parents want him to succeed at athletics because of the reward that MIGHT be at the end of his career, absolutely. But, his parents pushed him to be more than just an All-State QB. You can follow this All-State QB's travels and ministry here.
Here's the deal: Students are being forced to make "life" decisions much earlier in their lives today more than any other time in history. At their age, 14-18, these students are having to make tough decisions that, very easily, could alter the course of their lives forever. If they can't be kids anymore, then parents need to be that common sense voice that encourages "life" priorities; that offers sound advice and not just the advice that might win them a spot on the Varsity team.
With that said, I continue.
For the longest time, I have seen sports as a one of the best tools to bring a student to a place where they have strong bonds with the people around them and give them a support group, but also something to work toward; like a thing of encouragement. And for many years that I was growing up, I think that this was accomplished through most sports. But something has changed since then that has gotten parents into a tizzy about providing their kids with the best opportunity or the best chance to start on the varsity team, or whatever vicarious living aspect they are trying to attain.
Maybe this is a new advent in our area in the conservative parts of the Midwest region of the U.S. however, it is something that has started to bother me. Maybe this is because for the first time in my life, I am working with students that desire to start on the Varsity, but still want to grow in their spiritual walk. I'm not sure, but I'm confident that I am frustrated by the current state of athletics in students' lives.
In today's world, if you don't go to all the camps during the summer, make all the workouts for each sport, and are at every day of the summer two-a-day camps, students, and their parents seem to think that it becomes impossible to even see a down. Obviously, this is a little extreme, however, it may not be too far off from the truth for some parents (though, many in this spot will never admit to this being true).
So, here is my plea: Parents, PLEASE, help your students understand the priorities that they need to have IN LIFE, not just High School. Unfortunately, I've seen more great parents, assist the world in molding their son, or daughter, into what the world needs less of and have basically, restricted their students from experiencing life as a kid. You see, my plea is less about summer camp and more about their overall lives. Sure, I want each student that goes to summer camp to be there 100% of the time; I want to see make a commitment to attend Wednesday Night Youth Group and not sluff off in late April and May due to baseball. Sure, but my desire comes out of a desire to see these students grow and make life choices.
Do I understand that sometimes parents can't control schedules. Absolutely! I'm a baseball umpire, I know, first hand, that these schedules change all of the time. However, I knew a certain All-State quarterback from Wawasee that made it a point to prioritize his spiritual life. Did his parents want him to succeed at athletics because of the reward that MIGHT be at the end of his career, absolutely. But, his parents pushed him to be more than just an All-State QB. You can follow this All-State QB's travels and ministry here.
Here's the deal: Students are being forced to make "life" decisions much earlier in their lives today more than any other time in history. At their age, 14-18, these students are having to make tough decisions that, very easily, could alter the course of their lives forever. If they can't be kids anymore, then parents need to be that common sense voice that encourages "life" priorities; that offers sound advice and not just the advice that might win them a spot on the Varsity team.
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