December 23, 2009

the Death of Me

This is something that I wrote for our Funeral Night that took place last week. It needs some work, but Derry suggested I post it. Well, here it is.

Testimony to the Death of Me

It began in High School
Life was all about him
The Guys, The Girls
There was something to do every night
There was someone to hang with
Places to go, things to see, popularity to be won
The world was to be had and the thought of it being his was exciting

He's listening to the voice that says to never die.

So much of life was a mirage
Positioning others for success
Simply to gain the accolade from others
From leading a body of people into service and aid for others
To exaggerated utterances to other leaders in place of results
Life equaled a flurry of service, meetings and projects
All pointing to the fruits of a fulfilling life of grandeur

He's fighting for the voice that says to never die.

The advent of College came
A new time of new opportunities
Breaks to further success and create more doors to move up the ladder
The chance to rise up to the level of stardom that was once achieved
A time to give meaning to "Carpe Diem"
And yet a dark cloud was forming off to the West

He's struggling for the voice that says to never die.

But times are different, you see
When successful words are met with unsuccessful drive
When the dust settles and the air is cleared all things are seen for what they are worth
Belief in oneself; the lack of a need to depend on Him
The supports are falling down; the walls are crushing on themselves
And an eerie silence falls all around him with a rush of a bittersweet end

He is struggling to hear the voice that says to never die.

Failure. Ridicule. Defeat.
When striving for oneself, it becomes hard to stomach these kind of conditions.
Suffocation of selfishness. A virus sets in and consumes his entire being making him the victim.
Where excuses wouldn't change the situation, avoidance of the truth was present.
The desires to amplify himself have become the chains that grab hold of him.
The drive to prove himself to the World has become the force that keeps him in it.

He is struggling to hear a voice and he doesn't know how to die.

Desperation. Desolation. Falseness.
Descriptions of a past littered with unfulfilled expectations,
And yet there is a beacon of hope; a chance to live a life worth living.
A loud speaker telling of a Spirit; a Counselor; the opportunity for a new life.
Heavy thoughts bringing to light the chance to live beyond himself
Giving a new hope to the one who takes to heart the lessons of the Teacher.

He is beginning to hear a voice that says to die is to live.

Surrender. Willingness. Freedom.
A never-ending opportunity to find his true self in the One who Is.
To discover a life beyond the one that he had tried so hard to create.
A life of eternity in service to a grateful and loving King.
But just one, seemingly impossible, lesson to be learned from the Wonderful Counselor.
Consider loss as gain; perhaps death as life?

He is wrestling with the voice that says to live he must die.

Release from the old, is immunity from my eternal death.
And yet the need to die to all the things that made up my life, seems insurmountable.
It was right in front of my face. Waving. Calling. Shouting for me to give up the facade, the complacency.
Jesus was standing, right in front of me, in the form of a human, praying for me, begging me to die so I could live.
What was holding me back? Jesus breaks the chains and I am free. Jesus removes the shackles and I am in His kingdom.

I have heard the voice that says to live, I must first die.

On April 4, 2007, I died to the selfish wants.
On April 4, 2007, I died to the incessant control.
On April 4, 2007, I died to the attention and fame and fortune offered to me on this earth.
On April 4, 2007, I died so that I may pursue the prize, and praise Jesus with open arms.

I hear His voice daily, because I responded to the voice that says to live, you must first die.

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