May 10, 2010

Monday Morning Musings: Do you have a Pressure Release Valve? How's it working?

Today, I have already had a thought pop into my head that might be worth sharing. I know, crazy... I credit the Main Street Quad Cafe Mocha with Caramel for the thought and the Gloria Martin batch of Maxwell House Coffee from the Main Office for the ability to stay focused enough to write this post.

This morning, I woke up to a received text asking the question, "How do you get rid of unwanted pressure?" So now you know why I couldn't just respond via SMS. I'm not even sure that I could accomplish that in 1000 characters in a MMS and thanks to Blackberry, I don't have XMS like some LG users. No comment.

My initial response was, "Do you have a pressure valve?" Of course my cryptic response needed some detailing (as do most of my explanations). So this is me detailing some of what I am talking about.

We all get ticked at some level. Whether we show it (like me) or hide it (like you), we all get frustrated at some level. You can try to deny it, but I won't believe you. Sometimes, it is repeated frustration from the same source that drives us up the wall, or grinds our gears. When this happens we can begin to have the unwanted pressure towards someone we love or someone that we have to like. In either of these cases, nothing about the situation is comfortable or desirable. So what do we do?

Enter the Pressure Release Valve (PRV). Interestingly enough, we all have these as well. Why? Because we are all humans and at some point, we just can't take the pressure that some people try to heap on us, intentionally or unintentionally. This valve is the thing that protects us from having too much stress in our lives and, ultimately, protects our heart and the relationships that we have in our lives. Think of it as God's way to keep us in relationship with some of those "Sandpaper People" that we need to remain in connection with whatever reason.

The thing about the PRV is that it can release in any direction, release towards the source, or re-route the pressure to a place that is safe and disperse the pressure safely. As it stands in relationships, it is pretty clear that there are some better options here than others. Releasing in any direction, spewing the pressure can be very unhealthy for you and the people around you. People get hurt, relationships are destroyed, never to be mended for a long time. Releasing back towards the source can have its advantages and disadvantages. It gets your point across to that person, letting them know how you really feel about the situation. It gives them a real warning about how much pressure you were harboring. But, it also allows them to feel the brunt force of the pressure, adding pressure to their life and building the pressure up against their PRV.

It is pretty clear that the best kind of PRV is the one that re-routes the pressure to a different place in order to truly relieve the pressure in the lines. Routes it through a filter perhaps and collects the stuff that is still able to be used, giving you the opportunity to utilize the good things that can come out of relieved pressure; like a filter. This can be someone or something that you do that allows you to release the pressure and still hold on to the thoughts and desires that will benefit both you and the person or situation that is building this pressure in your life.

The critical thing with PRVs is to realize that they are not the last stop. In any re-routing process, the good things, the things that need to be re-used, must make it back to the source. In order for things to be truly relieved, you have to help the source recognize what's going on in the "system," or relationship. If this part of the re-routing isn't properly administered, there is no way for the source to be adequately altered to relieve the pressure and this whole process will take place again.

So who or what is your Healthy Pressure Release Valve?
How does yours release the pressure in your heart?
Does it just explode in any direction?
Does it point back towards the source of the problem?
Does it re-route the pressure in your life?
What changes do you need to make in your pressure relief system that will allow you to live more healthy?

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