Monday Afternoon Reflection...

So, I have been working through this thing about stuff and where I am with being sacrificial in my life. Through this, I think that God is bringing me closer to him. However, at the center of this discussion, I am drawn to the fact that there are still times in my life where I am holding onto things; stuff that I'm not sure that they are to be mine. Furthermore, for so long, I have counted them as blessings from God and perhaps they were not that at all. And so what do I do with this stuff?

You see, for so long, I have been conditioned by this culture, by my family, by the world around me, that the things that I am able to purchase, or the things that I am able to do because of the wealth that I have worked so diligently for were considered blessings from God. And while they may seem like blessings from God, they don't seem to line up with what God describes as fruit of a prosperous life; the Christian life. They almost seem as deals with the Devil himself! They have the essence of being portals into my life that allow for the deceiver to pry his way in and try and put shackles around my feet.

So, are they blessings or are they "shackles?" I am convinced that God can use all things for good; immaterial (words, situations) or material (my car/TV/cell phone etc.). But the one thing that I don't want to allow is that I backslide into allowing these things to remain in my life because they are good things if I "make them work for God." You know what I mean? If I use my TV to build community then it might be a blessing and not a detriment. Well, I guess that I am just not sure that this is good enough. Maybe it is... but maybe not.

I guess the core of my wrestling right now is just dealing with the issues that surround me falling back into a complacent lifestyle that allows for me to do some of the things that I want to without any type of accountability or need for God to enrich my life in an obvious way if I can just say that everything that happens might be God trying to bless me.

In the end, I don't want some TV to hinder my relationship with Christ. I don't want some idealistic view that allows me to have that TV when God is asking me to give it up. And I am not sure what that means in the long run, but I want to commit myself to following Jesus in ways that make typical Christians, uneasy. I want to take up my cross, and not allow things of this world be my drive; my goal. I want Jesus. I don't want some huge mansion in Heaven or any of the stuff that might seem good.

I don't want riches.
I don't want to be prosperous on this earth.
I don't want to need fame or fortune.

I just want Jesus.
I just want to sit and chillax with my Savior.