Running the Race

This morning, I tweeted: "If we are constantly trying to make our following of God look like someone else's, we will never truly be able to follow Jesus, personally." I wanted to expound on that just a touch more because it is something that is pretty near and dear to my heart and something that I have struggled with for most of my Christian life.

It is interesting to me how much we try to make our lives look like those of others. It's the essence of the American Dream. We want what someone else has so that we can say that we have the same thing as them. We have Comcast, but we want DirecTV because "so and so" has it and it has 15 more HD channels. Or we have to have a great looking haircut because we have to look better than "so and so." If you haven't felt that part of the flesh before, look out, because it's coming. I can promise you.

Here's the deal gang: You can't run someone else's race.

There are a number of places in the Bible where people's pursuit of Christ were completely different from many others and they still glorified Christ; perhaps even more, because their path was different and unique to them. Not to mention two, very obvious, places where we are charged us to run our race:

Ephesians 2:10- "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Hebrews 12:1-2- "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

More on this later, but today, let's commit to running our race.

Realizing the Potential of Relationship

So, I want to continue and conclude my conversation about the changing stance that I am experiencing about relationships, love, and how they function in the life of someone that seeks that bond and has that passion.

In the previous posts, I have laid out some of the story of how I have come to the revelations that I have been coming to in the past few days/weeks. Critical to this realization was the way that I see my relationship with Jenni, now.

Our relationship was one that was based on support and us discovering how God was leading us; individually, as well, as in our relationship. But it ended with a Word from the Lord and, I believe, is right where God wants us right now. This ending has provided me with the inspiration as I try and wrestle through this topic on this canvas.

What I have come to know is that when we enter a relationship of the romantic sense, we must understand that there is a level of Love that is increased in order to be in that state. For most of society we have described this as "liking someone" because we have tried to describe it as "love." This is due, mostly, by the pseudo-pedestal that our culture has placed a form of pseudo-love on. I mean seriously, our society in America, has made "true love" unattainable by most people. If people fight, if people have disagreements, if they break off dating relationships, they never were truly "in love." I, for many years of my life have been a proponent of this socially accepted school of thought. And as God continues to grow me and mold me, I am forced to reconsider.

So this is it: I believe that any relationship is the recognition of a heightened recognition of love between a guy and girl. There it is defined. Because of this my mindset changes on a lot of issues that weren't really issues at all, however, I made issues. So what does this mean for other things. "If we love each other, shouldn't we get married?" NO! All relationships need to be entered into and managed with great caution and wisdom and with even greater openness while guarding our hearts. So, I encourage relationship! Wise Relationship. :)

That's all with this topic! (It's been eating me up that I haven't been able to word it. I don't think it is greatly worded, but this is my last rant on the topic.)

Responses to DB - A Blog Series - Marriage, Family and the High Calling of Being Single

There is such a need for DB's message to make it out to the world. In a world that values divorce as the remedy to the problems that arise in a marriage, careful examination of ourselves and the possible suitors that present themselves is critical. In my experience with students, the health of the family has continually presented itself as critical to the development of a person's character and life.

So what does this do for me personally as an individual that is already in a committed relationship? What does this mean for a person who is entering into a ministry field that requires me to counsel families from time to time?

I think that key to the process of discerning our place as either single citizens or people of one flesh in marriage to someone of the opposite sex is the notion of selection and keeping our expectations clear in our mind. Knowing what I expect is critical to the assessment of the relationship for you. Being able to identify what I expect out of the relationship or the values that I place on the relationship allows us to know if we are to be in a relationship or not.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine and as we were talking about life the topic of her relationship with her boyfriend came up. In this conversation, she noted that she felt like she should not have expectations entering the relationship and throughout the relationship. Ironically, my girlfriend had just had this conversation with me a couple of nights before. One of the questions that DB identified as a key question to ask when deciding on a relationship is: "Do I have a vision in my heart of the type of person that is right for me?" I would reword it slightly to be similar to this:

"Do I have a a vision in my heart for how I would want to be treated in this relationship?"

What I find so amazing is how quickly people, especially girls, are willing to sacrifice their expectations for the relationship. And I find it troubling. How else are you going to gauge how the relationship is going if you disregard your expectations and your values, just so you can avoid confrontation or conflict?

Our expectations allow us to understand what we need from the relationship. It gives us the ability to put into words what we need from the other person in the relationship. Without this understanding, how can we communicate this to them? And on the defensive side of things: How are you going to be able to stand for what you feel is right in the relationship if you are putting your expectations aside?

Keep your expectations. Make them known when you need to. Give yourself credit. If you're expectations are not being met, then something needs to change. This could be the expectation, but if you have nothing to base your dissonance then you have no where to grow.

Happy Relationship Building!

Responses to DB - A Blog Series - Friendships: The Reason For Living

How important are friendships!? Personally, I don't know where I would be if it were not for the friends that I have had over the years; even in times that seemed to be far from the path that God has laid for me.
Purdue: My roommates gave me the opportunity to experience a life that I would have never experienced inside the walls of the dorm room, waiting for them to come back.
Officiating: I have some pretty sweet guys that I can hang with and talk about just about anything.
And then there are some of the friendships that have truly shaped who I am and have been relationships that I could depend on in the thickest of situations.
Bethel: So many people that have shaped me into the man I am. Professors, peers, roommates, and classmates. I can't even begin to name all the people that have contributed to this.
Ministry: The pastors that I have been able to be mentored by and the volunteers that I work with are the best people in the world to work with. I would trade them for nothing.

The point of listing the different places that I have friendships and how they have affected me is to point out that we are made for relationships. Even the most intense introvert desires some form of relationship. We are so based on relationship that we have made more and more social networking sites on the Internet. We can't live without the relationships that dominated our lives.

As one who is in the business of connecting with students, I am finding that these students desire relationships, more and more. That seems very contrary to the common belief that students today are becoming less and less social because of texting, instant messaging, and impersonal communication. Our students crave relationships and that is why they are on all of the social networking sites (MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and are constantly texting. They want to know more and more that they are connected to someone. I find it interesting how it is to operate in that world. Instant connection to all the people that you have ever known is very important to these students.

And the idea is permeating into the older generations. While this trend is far from the dominance that it has shown in the youngest of generations, it is catching onto the adults of this world; the people who want to connect face-to-face are doing what they can to fulfill that desire for relationships. Parents are acquiring Facebook accounts (and they should!) more and more each day. Whether the original intent is to check on their kid, or to connect with as many people in their high school graduating class, the desire to be fulfilled is still the need for relationship in their lives.

Relationships are paramount to our culture and we cannot avoid them. No matter how "old fashioned" we want to be.