So today is the first day that I have been in the office this week. I know not that big of a deal, I mean come on, it's Tuesday... However, yesterday I drove the luggage up to Camp for Jr. High Camp which you can follow on Chris's blog here. During this 3.5 hour trip, I had a lot of time to think and reflect, which is why I love driving the truck. It might be somewhat tiring, but it gives me time to reflect and talk to myself. I like that. Anyway, yesterday was another installment of this 3.5 hour adventure into my own mind.
During this time, I had a restless spirit concerning my future, my finances, and where God is leading me. Some of these things have been revealed this morning as I was reading the blogs that I read and diving even further into some of those blogs I ran over some other blogs that have me really thinking about what some of these guys are doing in ministry.
I ran over a pastor named Steven Furtick of South Carolina's Elevation Church. This guy seems so genuine in what he is doing with this church that God has charged him with. On his blog, he made a video using the camera on his computer! I mean come on! Can't get that announcement done with some professional equipment! (Sarcastic "Harry Caray" voice) It's this kind of guy that amazes me because of his passion and his youth-like or child-like excitement for doing ministry and doing it courageously outside of the bounds of this world's common stereotypes.
But it wasn't until I was checking out the line-ups for this year's National Youth Worker's Convention that I was more struck with the truth that God was revealing to me. Yet again, guys like Francis Chan and Tony Campolo are speaking for YS in their "Big Room." But I am faced with the question, because of my pride, what makes them so special that they get to do that? And because of my impatience, I ask myself, and probably God at the same time, "When do I get to do that?" I am both frustrated by the answer to that question, but also just the fact that I am asking the question.
I am a very passionate person when it comes to getting things done and doing them well. I recognize that. But I think, sometimes, my drive can push my mind to question the speed, or lack thereof, with which God moves and moves me in my life. And what God has revealed to me this morning is the story of the fig tree that Jesus encounters just before He clears the Temple. This tree looked like it was in season. It looked like it was ready to have figs, but "it was not the right season for figs."
These people that I look up to from afar and these guys that are doing what they are, are doing it because they aren't fig trees that look like they should be bearing fruit. They are Apple trees in Apple season! It is their season of fruit! If I were to be in that place, or worse, consumed with striving to be in that place, I would be a fig tree that is not bearing fruit yet putting on the look of a fig tree that looks like it is ready to bear fruit.
So, for me, right now I want to put myself in a place that allows me to do anything that He desires me to do. Specifically, I just recently paid off the TV that I probably shouldn't have bought, and the tires that I had to buy. I want to reduce my credit card debt to a place that I can pay it off each month without fail, and restructure my college debt to a place that I can have it paid off as quickly as possible. These are the financial goals that I have for the next 6 months. I think that by doing these things, I will set myself up to be even more available for God's use.
These are financial barriers that limit me I think. Maybe not literally, but in my mind they do and I don't want to allow that to happen. In my own life, I want to establish a priorities list; something that filters what makes the schedule and how much time each of these things gets on the schedule. I think that this is going to be one of my personal foci for camp. I don't plan to have too many as I want to focus on students, but this will probably be one of my personal ones.
May my life bless His name and glorify the one who saves! He has given me freedom! I pray I can use it to further His Kingdom, His Name, His glory. Amen
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